All right. I confess. I never liked Michael Jackson. Even at his height, during the 80s, I thought he was an over-rated freak. The sparkly glove, the red jacket, the permed hair, the crotch grabbing, the nasal ‘he-hee’s – I just didn’t get it. He could definitely dance (especially backwards) but his singing left me cold and his songs were either simplistic ditties about a pet rat or over-produced anthems featuring a disjointed montage of shrieks and platitudes. Continue reading “Michael Jackson – Freak Out”
Dropped calls drive me mental
Is it just me or are the cellular networks dropping a lot more calls than usual? In the past, the occasional dropped call was a nuisance but, all things considered, not a problem. After all, the mere fact that we could phone a friend while driving down the highway at a 100km an hour was remarkable in itself.
However, lately, the cellular networks seem to be resting on their considerably overstuffed laurels. I’m not sure what the problem is, but I am currently experiencing a dropped call rate of about 1 in 3 and that is simply not acceptable. And it’s not just a problem with my phone. It seems that everywhere I go, I hear the constant refrain, ‘Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? How about now?’ Continue reading “Dropped calls drive me mental”
Jessie Duarte loses the plot
My jaw literally dropped open when I heard Jessie Duarte’s recent outburst to a member of the press. Briefly, and from the perspective of an external listener, the context is as follows: a journalist for The Times was interviewing Ms. Duarte about the ANC’s online activities. At first, things were going OK. Then, JD started fishing for a fight and asked The Times reporter to hurry up and get to the point – which she already knew had to be negative, because The Times is that kind of paper. She was acting like a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs. Continue reading “Jessie Duarte loses the plot”
A pizza the action
I just got back from Cape Town and, once again, I am amazed by how utterly alien the place is. It truly is another country down there; cut off from the rest of Africa by a range of jagged mountains and coated with a thick layer of smug.
OK, I get it. The city is a couple of hundred years older than Joburg or Durban and the streets have a tangible sense of history that money simply cannot buy. The landscape is also pretty remarkable. You can’t help but be overwhelmed by the beauty of its steep slopes, open seas and that bloody Mountain with a cloud on top. Continue reading “A pizza the action”
Post-electile Dysfunction
Newscasters of the world rejoice! The election is over. Obama has won and the months of relentless news coverage can now FINALLY stop.
Yes, after nearly two years of endless ramblings by political pundits, the Great American Election Spectacular has closed. And what a saga it has been… Continue reading “Post-electile Dysfunction”
Unconventional Conventionists
A new political party has been born! Mazal tov! Now all we need is a name.
While I maintain a ‘wait-and-see’ attitude towards their policies, I welcome the new political entity and hope that it will diversify national politics without making the whole system unmanageable. Having a greater number of smaller parties prevents the abuse of power, which is great, but coalition governments are usually complicated and often fragile. Continue reading “Unconventional Conventionists”
Don’t mess with Manuel – he’s from Barcelona
Remember Manuel, the wonderfully inept Spanish waiter from the classic series, Fawlty Towers? Of course you do. Well, Andrew Sachs, the actor who played Manuel, is back in the public eye after years of low-key voice-over work and he’s apparently more popular than ever. In fact, he’s at the centre of a major rumpus that is threatening to engulf the BBC and two of its most popular presenters.
The whole mess started on Saturday night when comedian Russell Brand and nebulous ‘media personality’ Jonathan Ross were doing their weekly ‘no-holds-barred’ radio show. With hours of air-time to fill and very little material with which to fill it, the two decided to call up Sachs who was supposed to appear on the show but had cancelled for some reason. Continue reading “Don’t mess with Manuel – he’s from Barcelona”
I love my Prius!
I’ve been driving my Prius for about six months now, and I have come to a conclusion about this hybrid vehicle: it’s fantastic.
For those who don’t know, the Prius uses two powertrains: a 1.5 litre petrol engine and an electric motor that is driven by a battery. The on-board computer switches seamlessly and automatically between these two motors, so the driver has nothing to do but steer the car and apply the brakes when necessary. The car does not need to be plugged into the mains as the battery is charged by the energy created through braking and coasting during normal driving. Continue reading “I love my Prius!”
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to
Well, Terror Lekota is certainly living up to his name, and good for him. It’s said he won his fearsome moniker when he was a youthful soccer player, and his recent actions show that it’s no idle boast. Since the ouster of Mbeki, he’s taken to the field with a vengeance and all I can say is, ‘Go Terror!’
Now I’m not about to throw my weight behind his campaign to ‘divorce’ the ANC and form a breakaway party. It’s still too early in the game to make a call about the viability and vision of his new team. I also don’t know whether he is motivated by ideology, principles, ambition, greed or a combination of all four. But I do admire his courage in tackling the almighty ANC and wish him well in his endeavours. Continue reading “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to”
Shrugging off the markets
Are you ready for another week of lunacy with those wacky Wall Street brokers? I am! Normally I couldn’t give a toss about the financial markets, but now it’s become a real cliffhanger. What’s going to happen next? Where’s the bottom? Will the incentives work? Is there going to be a depression? Has America gone socialist? Will Britain have to buy Iceland? Who knows?
Well, I freely admit that I know next to nothing about the stock market. It’s not my thing. But what really freaks me out about this whole story is that nobody else seems to know what the hell’s going on either. Every banker, broker and TV newsreader in the world must have sore shoulders from shrugging ‘I don’t know’ to each other. Continue reading “Shrugging off the markets”
Zuma-palooza
It’s a cliffhanger! What is going to happen on Friday? How will the judge find? Are there going to be riots? To tell the truth, I can’t even remember which Zuma case this is. Is it the one about the evidence from Mauritius, or the one about throwing the whole case out, or the one that went to constitutional court? I honestly can’t remember and I couldn’t be bothered to look it up. I’ve got Zuma fatigue.
So why am I still writing about him? Well, on the one hand, I admire his dogged approach. He certainly doesn’t give up easy. I remember reading a quote from one of his attorneys who said that they will pursue every single legal strategy, and then keep on appealing until they get the case dismissed. I tell you, it’s enough to make lawyers weep with joy. Continue reading “Zuma-palooza”
A Zap in the Face
Has Zapiro gone too far this time? I’m not sure. His instantly infamous cartoon of Jacob Zuma about to rape the legal system is a fiercely strong statement. It’s the kind of cartoon that really kicks you in the guts. And it’s ambitious too. Instead of just lampooning Zapiro’s favourite shower-headed target, this time he’s implicated all the big political players as active participants in the rape.
Understandably, the cartoon has got a lot of people very angry. The ANC, its youth league, Cosatu and all the other organisations featured in the piece are unanimous in their condemnation of Zapiro. Of course, there has been the meaningless, knee-jerk accusation of ‘racism’, which is trotted out so often it has lost any impact whatsoever. But there are other criticisms of the cartoon which are not so easy to dismiss. Continue reading “A Zap in the Face”
What’s in a name?
So the US property market is in big doo-doo. I’m no economist, but after watching a few news reports, I’m getting the general message that the American economy has tanked, home owners can’t make their payments, mortgages are being forfeited and the companies that gaily gave credit to every shmo who came along are now going belly up.
That much is old news. But now two companies who collectively own or guarantee about half of all the home loans in America (totaling $5.4 TRILLION) are effectively bankrupt. That’s a very big problem for the American economy and the government has had to step in and use tax payers’ money to keep the two companies afloat. The cost is estimated in the hundreds of billions. And you think we’ve got problems with Eskom? Continue reading “What’s in a name?”
Geek like me
I’ve been going through a bad patch, authorially speaking. I just haven’t been able to write. I’ve completely blown the deadlines for my next two travel books (on Lesotho and Swaziland – plug, plug) and I am still struggling to get my arse into my computer chair on a regular basis. I think I’m a bit burnt out from a couple of months of frantic activity, which was way too much like hard work for my liking. The upshot of all this, basically, is that I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately.
Now I don’t proclaim myself to be a fan of reality TV, but the rigours of my procrastination schedule are such that I am often forced to watch the most pitiful drivel. And I’ve got a new favourite. Continue reading “Geek like me”
Farewell Movie Trailer Guy
Sad news. The man whose voice launched a 1000 movie trailers has died. You know the guy. He was a man…who spoke…two words…at a time. Yes, him. His name was Don LaFontaine and he provided the voice-overs for more than 5000 movie trailers.
5000! Bloody hell. That’s a lot of movies. This guy practically defined the Hollywood movie trailer format for much of his 33 year career. He did them all: “In a world where…”, “He was a man who…” and my personal favourite, “In a time of…”. You thought all those trailers sounded the same. Well, now you know, it actually was all one guy. Continue reading “Farewell Movie Trailer Guy”
Send in the Clowns
I love clowns. They are part of ancient tradition in entertainment that makes us look at ourselves and laugh, thus throwing our true nature into stark but non-threatening relief. In many repressive societies, clowns are the only ones who can question authority with impunity or provoke independent thought without fear of censure; such is the power of humour. Even Shakespeare regularly used the character of the clown, fool or jester in his tragedies to draw out various themes and to provide some much needed comic interludes.
But quite apart from their historical and metaphysical function, a clown’s purpose is to make us laugh. And that’s why I love Julius Malema and Jon Qwelane. Those guys are hysterical! Continue reading “Send in the Clowns”
Doh! A Deer
I’ve never been that into video games. I had an Atari growing up – which gives away my age – but I’ve always preferred reading or watching movies to playing games on a console. So, Playstations and Xboxes hold little interest for me (although I must confess to a certain fascination for the movement-sensitive technology that lets you Wii in the middle of your living room).
In any case, computer gaming has never been a passion. Accordingly, I don’t have a strong opinion about the relative evils that some have said are caused by the use and abuse of these often violent games. But all that changed when I came across a particularly reprehensible game in a video arcade that made my blood run cold. Continue reading “Doh! A Deer”
African Queens
Interesting story: the Valoyi clan, who live near Tzaneen, has just got its first female chief. Now, while that’s all rather nice, it’s hardly ground breaking. This kind of thing has been going on in southern Africa for hundreds of years; the most famous female chiefs being the Modjadji dynasty who (until recently) ruled over the Lobedu of Limpopo. So, while it’s unusual to have a female chief, it’s not that interesting. What really caught my eye, however, was the manner in which she got appointed. Continue reading “African Queens”
Mamma Mia! Here it goes again…
It was a scene to thrill the heart of Dancing Queens all over the world. After decades of no-speaksies, the four members of spangled Swedish supergroup, ABBA, have appeared in public together for the first time in more than 20 years.
Oh joy! Oh bliss! Oh Fernando! It’s more than any of us could have wished for; the four ABBA-maniacs, full of their old ABBAloney, smiling at the cameras and waving regally at the adoring throngs. Thank you for the music, you glorious quartet of Scandinavian songbirds! What a bunch of Supa-pa Troupa-pa’s. Continue reading “Mamma Mia! Here it goes again…”
Busy Busy Busy
All right, I admit it. I’ve been a bad blogger. I’m not worthy of the newly-minted name ‘citizen journalist’, so beloved by the likes of Ariella Huffington. In fact, if I had an editor, he/she would be kicking my arse. But, you see, the thing is, I’ve been really, really busy.
No, honestly. I have. Flat out. It’s actually quite weird that right now, when things are going to pieces all over the planet, I’m the busiest I’ve been in my nearly 15 years of freelancing. And it’s not like I was picky in the past. I’ve been trying to sell out for years, but no-one’s been buying. Until now… Continue reading “Busy Busy Busy”