In life, context is everything. Don’t believe me? Check out these frame grabs from popular children’s cartoons. But be warned! There are things in this post that can’t be unseen. Who knew the Care Bears were into oral? Or that He-Man and Skeletor were into man-on-man action. Or that the mice in Cinderella have read 50 Shades of Grey? Thanks to the brilliant people at Happy Place for ruining my childhood. And now I’ve passed it on to you. You’re welcome.
Continue reading “Twisted cartoon images that will ruin your childhood memories”Worst Names in History
And now, for your edification and delectation, feast your eyes on these candidates for the worst name in the world. Because it’s fun to laugh at the misfortune of others. Also, innuendo – tee hee. Altogether now: IVANA MANDIC! Continue reading “Worst Names in History”
Ster Kinekor’s ‘Cinema Prestige’ is a winner
I have always been a big movie fan. Especially during my varsity years when a bunch of us started an informal Monday night movie club – ah, such hazy memories. But as I grew older and grumpier, I just kinda stopped going to the cinema. No real reason. It was just a shlep. Finally, with the advent of flat-screen TVs, Blu Ray players and an integrated wifi network that lets me stream videos from my PC directly to my TV, the die was cast. The cinematic world was my oyster and I didn’t even have to leave the couch.
So, I became a shut-in and only the occassional 3D blockbuster proved enough of a lure to drag me out into a multiplex. Now, however, I’m happy to say that my love affair with cinema has been rekindled – all thanks to online piracy. Let me explain… Continue reading “Ster Kinekor’s ‘Cinema Prestige’ is a winner”
Greek politician gets slap happy
South Africans are constantly moaning about the state of the country and the behaviour of our politicians etc. But the truth of the matter is that the entire planet is in the crapper and, all things considered, we aren’t doing so badly. That’s why I’m starting a new thread on this blog called ‘It Could Be Worse’ – a collection of bad news stories from around the world. If nothing else, this should give the whingers among us the perspective to understand that we’re all in the same boat… Continue reading “Greek politician gets slap happy”
Anderson Cooper cuts the crap
As we’ve already established, South Africa’s broadcasting environment is almost totally devoid of balls. The SABC is a cowering, quivering mass of sycophancy. Mnet’s rule of thumb is to produce only shows with a voting line (the excellent Masterchef SA notwithstanding). And eTV is focussed on low-budget soapies.
What this dearth of testicles means is that there is little room for anyone to speak their mind. The occasional hard news show or investigative slot are all well and good, but what about the other genres of television? Our glossy magazine shows, for example, are slick and smooth and featureless – much like Barbie’s crotch. Continue reading “Anderson Cooper cuts the crap”
Barack Obama sings Lady Gaga
I don’t have any profound utterings to share with you today. So instead, here’s a video of Barack Obama singing Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’. Enjoy!
We’re not young anymore
For all the mid to late thirty-somethings out there, here’s a great funny/sad parody of ‘We Are Young’ by Fun. Fair warning, though, it cuts a little close to the bone – treading that fine line between a guffaw and a gut-punch.
So, if you’re pushing forty and feeling brave, settle back in your comfy chair and enjoy this depressing little ditty. Dedicated to all my peers who are still hanging on to their thirties, if only by their fingertips. Laugh through the pain, people. Laugh, dammit!
The SABC is chicken!
So, our glorious public broadcaster has refused to screen the latest Nando’s ‘Diversity’ ad. Unfortunately, this shouldn’t come as any surprise. The SABC has a long history of avoiding controversy at any cost, usually because the organisation is afraid to run foul of its political masters (nothing new here – the SABC was always designed to be a mouthpiece for the ruling government, whether National Party or the ANC).
Rather, this particular instance of ideological cowardice is supposedly based on cultural sensitivity; a fear that the mere mention of xenophobia will spark off another deplorable wave of bigotry and shop burning, such as we witnessed a couple of years ago. While this general concern does have some validity in a country fraught with xenophobic tension, the SABC’s reasoning as it relates to the commercial is, of course, craven nonsense. Continue reading “The SABC is chicken!”
Grow a pair, Zuma
This whole affair about Brett Murray’s painting of Zuma’s exposed genitals is, quite frankly, a load of bollocks. But it has raised a number of troublesome issues regarding freedom of expression, censorship, the right to dignity and the role of art in society.
So much has already been written about Zuma’s dangling tottie that I don’t want to rehash the whole cock and balls story. In summary, however: Yes, ‘The Spear’ and its encompassing exhibition titled ‘Hail to the Thief II’ would have hardly made a blip on the popular consciousness if the ANC had done the sensible thing by ignoring it. Yes, the ensuing shitstorm of publicity has raised Brett Murray’s profile into the stratosphere. And yes, the sudden escalation of hysteria – culminating in the painting’s unauthorised defacement – has made rational discussion impossible. Continue reading “Grow a pair, Zuma”
Blog Reboot
It’s been over two years since I last published a blog. In that time, I’ve been busy renovating my house (an utterly horrendous experience) and puttering around on a number of other projects. Now, I’ve returned with a new website and have decided to get back in the saddle to resume blogging a dead horse.
While this news may not exactly set the world on fire, I’m looking forward to exercising my writing muscles on something other than corporate work. So, here’s to a fresh start in which I promise to mouth-off intermittently about things that peak my interest.
And for the record, I have re-posted all my old blogs that were previously published on another website. You can find these rather dated diatribes below.
I trust you will enjoy my unashamedly self-involved rantings, and feel free to comment. Because life’s all about telling other people what you think. IMHO.
World Cup Aftermath
So far, it’s been great. But I am now looking ahead to the end of the World Cup and I’m worried. What’s going to happen to all the happy South Africans on July 12th? Will we forget about the goodwill and go back to hating each other? Will all the flags come down as we start bickering about the money ‘wasted’ on our international extravaganza? And will we fall back into the funk of negativity which characterised our pre-World Cup condition? Continue reading “World Cup Aftermath”
Bring on the Olympics!
OK. So I may be prematurely basking in the glow of what appears to be a very successful World Cup, but I’m already looking forward and pondering: what next for SA?
I think the answer is obvious – the Johannesburg Olympics 2020.
And why not? We’ve now got the stadia, the experience and most of the infrastructure to host a major event, such as the Olympics. So let’s get the NOCSA to pull finger and submit the relevant proposals. Continue reading “Bring on the Olympics!”
Is the honeymoon over?
It all got off to such a good start. The World Cup kicked off successfully and our nation exploded onto the world stage, demonstrating a palpable sense of euphoria that was instantly contagious. Soon, just about everyone on the planet joined in to celebrate the first ‘African’ World Cup and it looked like it would be plain sailing. But now we’re a week in and the grumbling has started. Continue reading “Is the honeymoon over?”
Fifa Fo Fum
Boy, did we need this world cup! After what seems like years of relentlessly bad news and mass negativity, we are suddenly proud to be South African again. And it feels fantastic.
And I don’t even like soccer. To tell the truth, I don’t really care who wins (although a Bafana victory would be wonderful, if unlikely). Instead, I just want the World Cup to go off smoothly and for everyone to have a great time.
Happily, this seems to exactly what’s happening. The doomsayers in the world press have been forced to eat humble pie and the Cassandras who live within our borders seem to be at a loss because all their dire predictions have failed to materialise, again. All I can say is ‘good for us’. We deserve this. Continue reading “Fifa Fo Fum”
Malema is a pig!
Julius Malema is nothing if not good news fodder. I mean, the man is a magnet for controversy and most of us can’t get enough of his wacky antics. But we shouldn’t write him off as a buffoon. The baby-faced imp we know as Juju does occasionally raise relevant social and political points that deserve to be discussed in an intelligent manner. Unfortunately, it seems that intelligent debate is simply beyond Juju’s ken. Continue reading “Malema is a pig!”
Sounding the call
OK, so some dopey Rasta dude screwed up the South African national anthem on international TV. Big oops. But while the choice of singer was unfortunate and careless, it hardly qualifies as a catastrophe. After all, we’ve got plenty of real problems to worry about. Nevertheless, everybody is up in arms, officials are scrambling to cover their asses and ‘Anthemgate’ has already been given the standard suffix for a scandal.
Now, I’m not saying that fumbling the anthem in a global forum isn’t a serious breach of national etiquette. I also agree that it is slightly embarrassing to the country and downright offensive to many self-respecting South Africans. However, let’s get a bit of perspective here… Continue reading “Sounding the call”
The World’s Gone Mad(der)
I haven’t really got time to chat. I’m trying to get everything finished before I leave for a trip to Canada. No. I’m not going to claim refugee status. My brother lives there (legally) and he’s getting married.
But how about that story? You know, the one about the guy who has been living in Canada for years and has now claimed refugee status because he is being targeted by systematic racism perpetrated by the government and the criminal underworld against what people. What a doos! Continue reading “The World’s Gone Mad(der)”
Walking the Talk
Usually, on a Sunday, I wake up late and mooch around the house. All right, I do that most days of the week. But this Sunday, I did the 702/Discovery Health Walk the Talk. And I must congratulate the organisers for putting together an outstanding event.
Apart from the queue to get into the parking lot (which we expected) it was a genuine pleasure to be a part of this annual walkabout. The facilities were excellent. The marshals were pleasant. The weather was great. The crowd was in good spirits. And it was a rare treat to walk along the beautiful suburban streets of our city, lined with tall trees that are impressive even in their winter nakedness. Continue reading “Walking the Talk”
Oy Vey! Crooked Rabbis Bust for Corruption
It’s the hottest corruption scandal in America at the moment, featuring a stellar cast of crooks that includes three mayors, two members of the New Jersey state legislature and number of Jewish priests. That’s right. A flock of rabbis have been caught doing something not kosher. Continue reading “Oy Vey! Crooked Rabbis Bust for Corruption”
No More Michael Jackson!
I wasn’t going to follow up my contentious Michael Jackson blog with anything similar. Angry MJ fans who were pissed off with the previous piece would only question my motives by saying that I am seeking publicity. And I didn’t particularly want to get slammed again.
Besides, I’ve already offered my opinion (which is the eponymous if egotistical reason for this blog). I’m not even that interested in the subject of Jacko. So, from here on in, I’ll be keeping my head down and doing my best to avoid the long, inevitable MJ media circus that will be in town for the foreseeable future. Continue reading “No More Michael Jackson!”